Sunday, 23 December 2012
South African Travel Packages - Illness - A Family's Response
Each individual has a reaction and the entire family unit has a reaction, or with a long-term or terminal illness, for a few months, whether for a week, when a family member becomes ill.
Illness deeply affects everyone in the family in many ways. How to talk to others in the family, frequently I am asked by family members and by those who are ill.
The entire system is thrown into disequilibrium, if we think about the family being a system for a moment. "Role reorganization" is a healthy process that a family undergoes in response to the illness or death of one of its members.
To bring back balance and harmony to the family system and each individual, that is, roles and responsibilities must now be reassigned to re-establish the equilibrium.
And behavior patterns that will keep the family operating in a stable manner, family expectations, communication patterns, they must re-evaluate and re-establish the rules, and ways of coping, beliefs, using each family's values.
No side or private conversations should occur until each person in the family is talking about the issues and working together to find mutually acceptable solutions. Everyone in the family must be included in all the conversations. It is very useful for each person to talk about how the person's illness is affecting him or her and discuss the idea and necessity of role reorganization for their entire family.
Make a commitment to the survival of the family, with mindfulness and intention, each individual must. Each person's needs must be recognized as being legitimate and important. There is a good chance for success if communications between all the family members are open and honest.
Because they deserve an opportunity to talk about how they have been affected and they have a right and a responsibility to assume some new roles, no matter what their ages, it is vital to include all siblings.
This will help the ill person be reassured that his or her needs can and will be met and that no one will be over-burdened because of him/her. It is also essential to include the person who is ill so he or she can feel reassured that they are still an important family member and can know how the family is adjusting itself to accommodate the illness.
People often welcome discussions and easily consider alternatives to this painful dilemma, when approached with some information and a plan. Often people are in a reacting mode and not thinking very clearly. I encourage the other members to set firm boundaries and communicate directly what they are willing and able to do, in the event one of the family members is unable or unwilling to participate.
And reactions to your illness, feelings, provide the space for everyone to talk to you and each other about their thoughts, if you are the ill person and have the presence of mind and the physical strength. And even neighbors and business associates, co-workers, family members, friends, one person's illness affects everyone in that person's life; please remember.
Be sure to include the ill person. Please create the time and space for everyone to talk about what has happened, if you are a friend or a family member.
Everyone is thinking about what is happening and everyone is already upset; nobody ever wants to 'bring it up' and upset anybody else.
Have the courage to tell the truth in the presence of those who are special to you and face the pain and sadness that is making its home in your heart.
Only YOU can make it happen, remember!
Jackie Black 1999-2005 Copyright Dr.
Jackie's relationship dating advice and help for issues and problems. Please read more about
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